


How to Accessorize

by Dymosara



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 19:53:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15870624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dymosara/pseuds/Dymosara
Summary: For the first time since they've teamed up a villain has caught Ladybug and Chat Noir. What should be an easy win for the villains turns akward when for some reason, they can't find their Miraculous?





	How to Accessorize

**Author's Note:**

> Notes at the end.

“Now is your chance take their miraculous!” 

The colorful villain, who had introduced themself as The Spider, approached the two captured heroes, intent on taking their Miraculous. 

“Umm...Sir?” they said scanning the two spandex wearing vigilantes, “Where is it.”

“What do you mean, ‘where is it’?” Hawkmoth replied “It has to be on them!”

“Look, Hawkmoth, sir,” the villain said with as much politeness as one could muster in this situation.”Im looking right at them and I'm not seeing any magical jewelry”

“Well search harder! The Miraculous is the source of their powers, they have to have it.”

“Sir, I'm telling you that neither of them are wearing anything other than their clothes.”   
And that was when Chat started laughing.

Well, honestly, it started as a chuckle, something that could easily be hidden behind a cough or sneeze, or in this case two villains arguing. But as they continued bickering through whatever hidden form of communication they had, it slowly grew into a giggle, and soon a full on laugh.

Ladybug looked cautiously at her partner as he laughed himself to tears next to her.

When the villains had started bickering Ladybug immediately started looking for a route of escape not paying too much mind to the content of the villains conversation.

Chat Noir on the other hand had been a regular cat on the wall.

The Spider stopped arguing with Hawkmoth and turned to Chat Noir.

“What?” they yelled a little louder than was necessary, but anyone would be upset if they had a middle aged villain yelling at them in one ear and a superhero laughing at them in the other.

“What the hell is so funny?”

Chat tried in vain to suppress his laugh and mostly failed, but he managed to cut it down enough to choke out a few words between giggles.

“You..hah..want...my...Miraculous?” His laughter only got worse as he spoke, igniting an even louder round of giggles. At his side ladybug blushed at the mention of their miraculous.

None of the other villains had gotten this close before. The duo had always managed to wrap them up rather quickly and be done with it. This was the first time anyone had managed to give them any real trouble, let alone catch them.

“Yes I want the damn Miraculous” The Spider tapped its four metallic spider legs on the street.

“Now where the fuck is it?”

Chat managed to stifle his laughter just enough to answer the unknowing villains question.

“It's on my dick.”

The villain and ladybug stared at Chat Noir with their mouths hanging open.

“What?” They both yelled

“I said” Chat smirked up at the spider “It’s on my dick. My Miraculous is a cock ring”

The villain stared at him, seemingly unable to process the utter bullshit that came out of Chat’s mouth. Except it probably wasn't. In those skin tight suits, one would easily spot any normal jewelry they were wearing meaning that a cockring was entirely possible…

“What are you waiting for?” Hawkmoth yelled, having only recovered from the shock slightly better than the spider. “You know where it is. Take his Miraculous!”

The webs tying Ladybug and Chat Noir disappeared.

“What are you doing!” Hawkmoth yelled. Instead of answering The Spider pulled a handkerchief out of their pocket and handed it to Ladybug, as the two superheros stood cautiously.

“Here,” the spider stepped back after handing over the handkerchief. “I’m pretty sure the Akuma is in there. Please just get this over with so I can go home.”

On the other side of the city, Hawkmoth was almost ready to tear out his hair.

“What do you think you're doing?!?!?”

“I think,” the Spider said calmly sitting in front of a shocked Cat and Ladybug. “That I am not going to grab a dude’s junk just to get revenge on Chloe. Theft? Fine. ?Kidnapping? Done. Hell I would even be fine roughing them up a bit. But I did not sign up for molesting a random stranger who may or may not be legal.”

“Hey!” Chat said somewhat resentful. “I’ll have you know I'm turning 21 this year!”

“Ok,” The Spider said “So mister babyface is legal. I still am not touching his genitals, so ladybug if you would?”

Snapping out of the shock that she had been in. Ladybug snapped back into the present.

“Oh, yeah. Sure.” Ladybug made quick work of the Akuma without The Spider lifting a leg to stop her.

The now deevilized person, who turned out to be one of Adrien and Marinette’s classmates at NYU, dusted themselves off an nodded to the two heroes.

“Look, as far as I'm concerned I learned nothing, I heard nothing, and I saw nothing.”

Not giving them a chance to reply, the student scurried away as fast as possible.

“Well that was anticlimactic.” Chat said with his staff over his shoulders.

Ladybug blushed at his choice of words.

“Chat…” She began tentatively, “Is your Miraculous really a…”

Chat’s face turned beat red. While it had been funny in the moment, he had also just announced to his partner and the woman he was in love with that he was pretty much always wearing a banana choker.

“OMGWELLLOOKATTHETIMEIMGONNACHANGEBACKGOODJOBMLADYMMKAYBYE”

and with that he left just as quickly as the Spider had. Ladybug stared after her partner blushing and thinking to herself.

_ So it wasn't just me. _

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to what I am referring to as the Acsexorize AU (for now anyway)  
> Basically I started thinking what if the Ladybug and Chat Noirs Miraculous were a "different" kind of jewelry.  
> -College AU (I considered having them already working adults but decided college was more fun)  
> -Also An American AU since I don't know how the fuck French college works? (You'd think they'd be similar but from what I've seen there are enough differences for me to stick with the familiar  
> -New York AU specifically cause a) it's also a big city b)also a fashion hub c) it'll make the types of jewelry slightly less weird  
> -Im still using Chat Noir instead of cat noir cause Adrien is a nerd and if you don't think he would use another language to make his name cooler you are a good man fool.  
> -the Miraculous takes the shape of jewelry that is most suitable for its wearer.  
> Will add tags as necessary if I decide to continue this.   
> Thanks for reading my first fic on here!


End file.
